This is a big blog for me. It’s not been brought on by anything done recently, and I’m not sure why it’s time to write it, but when you got it coming out, might as well write it down. Please note, I’m well aware that this stuff is tricky, so please read with eyes and mind full of grace.

In my circles in my life, I generally come across four different categories of people when it comes to the issue of homosexuality. Group 1 says that all “homos” are going to hell and that’s the end of it. Group 2 says that gays can be reformed. Group 3 is Gay Okay! and Group 4 says, let’s just love people and let God do His thing.

I live about 20 miles away from the biggest instigators of the philosophy of Group 1. They hold the domain name godhatesfags . com and are the “funeral protestors” you keep hearing about on national news outlets. They claim to be a Baptist church, but are actually Calvinistic and believe that your fate has been decided for you and that only a small portion of people have been preselected by God to be Christians and get to Heaven. I don’t know what they do with the idea of Freewill, but pretty much everything they espouse blows my mind, so I quit trying to figure them out.

Group 2 is gets a bit of national attention all of their own, but they are often misunderstood and lumped into the same category as Group 1 (unfairly, in my opinion). They beleive that, yes, homosexuality is in fact a sin, but God loves us all anyway, and we all have to get our act together, so they support reformation programs such as Exodus or other support groups. This category includes men and women who are no longer practicing homosexuals. Some have married (heterosexually) and have had children of their own. They consider themselves to have been set free from the grasp of homosexuality and watch themselves, lest they be tempted. I read a book once called “Heaven’s Back Row”. It’s supposed to be about a married pastor and father who is struggling with his homosexuality, but the recurring theme that made me queasy was first and foremost, his infidelity to his wife and secondly his promiscuity. He wasn’t just gay, he got around to boot!

Some in Group 2 also promote the idea of “a gay agenda” like there is some organized group of gays somewhere smoking cigars and taking notes trying to turn us all into “their kind”. Now, I’m speaking from my own experience here, but I’ve never, ever been asked to or been recruited to be gay. (Okay, so a girl asked me to make out with her once, but I was like, “um, no.” and she totally wasn’t offended and as weird as it was, it just wasn’t awkward…) I’ve seen movies and TV shows with gay characters, and while I suppose these could be interpreted as “gay promos”, I thought they were actually more like “understand me, love me, accept me” kind of shows. But then again, I haven’t seen Brokeback Mountain. The gay people I know don’t want me either, so I’m just really not sure where this scary”organized agenda” idea comes from. I think it’s this impersonal “they” mentality that keeps a lot of gay people’s hearts closed to considering the Gospel for themselves.

Group 3 is the God loves Gays group. God made them gay. There’s nothing wrong with being gay. All the New Testament Bible verses have been mistranslated (that should say “child molester” not “homosexual”) and the Old Testament doesn’t apply anymore anyway (I mean really, who doesn’t love pork chops?), so that doesn’t matter either. So, they live gay, they love gay and they worship God, love Jesus and love themselves. I personally know a couple that falls into this category and I can undeniably say, I think they have truly accepted Jesus as both Lord and Savior and love Him. I would also be willing to say, I can’t see any reason that they would not, in fact, be saved.

Group 4 is the group I consider myself to be a part of. This group either A) has no definitive opinion or B) is keeping their cards close to their chest and nobody knows their opinion. (Although, you may be able to have me figured out by the end of this one) They either believe the same as Group 2 and don’t want to offend gays or those in Group 3, or they believe as Group 3 and don’t want to offend or upset the people in Group 2. (and Group 1 can go sodomize themselves… oh my lame attempts at humor, don’t take me too seriously) Group 4 knows that God loves us all. “Just As I Am” is truly their anthem. Most people in this group know exactly what it is they, themselves, have been saved from. They don’t want to judge other people or get involved where God doesn’t intend for them to be. Group 4 people are generally experienced in ministry and understand that love comes first. They get it that God wants people to love Him. Once God gets a hold of someone, then God convicts people about the sins He wants them to deal with, not the ones I want them to deal with. They relate to the reformed homos in Group 2. They understand what it means to be freed of something burdensome. But on the other hand, they don’t think that Group 3 is going to Hell necessarily either. This group is, in deed, a bunch of saved sinners, still working out their own salvation.

Personally, it’s been my experience that when people change, it’s because God has laid it on their hearts to change*. He not only identifies the area He wants to work on, but He also gives them the tools and conviction to bring about change. If God wants to convict someone from their behavior, whatever that may be, then He has to lead. And I do believe that sometimes, there are other areas of someone’s life that are more pressing and need to be dealt with first and foremost. You never know what God’s going to have someone work on first and more importantly, you never know when someone’s never going to get to the item you would have put on the top of their “to do” list.

*Now, I’m not saying that God will never use you to convict someone of sin. Intervention is occasionally necessary. But Jesus was very clear on this one, He said that when you go to someone, you a) go to them out of love and concern without an attitude of judgement or superiority (that whole plank in your eye thing) and b) you are sure that God has asked you to speak to that person about this issue. There cannot be offense taken when you’ve humbly gone to someone that you love and respect out of concern for their well being. The same cannot be said when you approach someone you barely know or hold up a picket sign or petition.

I’ve said since the beginning, I’ll rest easy with either Obama or McCain in the White House, and health and Hillary not withstanding, looks like we’ll be in pretty good shape.    

However, with the general election season just starting, the contrasts between Obama and McCain are beginning to show. And lasts night’s speeches show, the contrast is stark. 

To start with, McCain had an awful green background and looked like he was really straining to smile.

The crowd sounded like mumbling zombies from a low budget horror movie that were following lazy que cards. The worst part? His new tagline is “A Leader We Can Believe In”. How cheesy is that? It was one of those moments where you’re embarrassed for the person on stage. It was awkward, it was awful. How awful? Here’s what Jeffery Toobin had to say about it: 

On the other hand, Barack Obama came out with his wife, Michelle on his arm. They were both well put-together. He was his usual calm, cool, collected self, and delivered the passionate, inspiring speech we’ve all become accustomed to. He looked quite Presidential.

While both candidates are known for being bipartisan, reaching across the aisle, and having individual ideas that go against their party at times, their style is nothing similar. If the Republicans want to retain the White House, John McCain had better work on his image and delivery or nobody is going to be able to get past his presentation in order to hear his words.

Am I the only one who heard Sean Hannity say that Obama would be captured and killed by 2013?  

He was speaking about John McCain’s vision for the next 8 years and then rattled off several points, one of them being the capture of Bin Laden, but that’s not what he actually said.   

Did anyone else hear that?  

My daughter is a nine year old. And being a nine year old, she does the things most nine year olds do. We’ve protected her without coddling her. We’ve been able to talk about what’s acceptable and what’s right without violating her innocence and supporting her when she has to make her own decisions. But then again, she’s only 9, so those decisions aren’t monumental by any stretch of the imagination.  

If you look at the candid shots, you can see what the atmosphere was like and how Miley saw it at the time. There doesn’t seem to be anything remarkable or controversial about this shot:
 

A lot of people are making a big stink out of all of this and quite frankly I think they don’t remember being 15. If Vanity Fair published the things I did publicly at 15, you’d all be too embarrassed to admit you know me. I think most of us could say that. But there is one BIG difference. I knew what I was doing was wrong. Mostly I knew it because I knew my parents would FLIP out if they found out. And at this photo shoot, her parents, according to Vanity Fair, were present. (But the publicist for Cyrus said her parents departed at the end of the day, prior to the pictures being taken and did not see any digital pictures.) Which makes me wonder how he feels today. Was he as naive as she was? Something tells me he shouldn’t have been. I think the firestorm is going to rain heavier on his head and that of the photographer than on Miley’s and that’s as it should be.

About 6 weeks before Super Tuesday, I was picking up the living room and had the TV going in the background. My 7 year old son came in, plopped down on the recliner and said, “What happened?”

I said “What?” very flatly.

He pointed to the TV and said “That. What happened?”

I glanced at the TV and said “Oh, a lady was killed in Pakistan.” I’d been hearing about the assassination of Benazir Bhutto for days, and quite frankly, it was on another planet as far as I was concerned.

But my 7 year old persisted. “Who killed her?”

I slowed down and started to pay attention, not to the TV, but to my son. “They don’t know. That’s why they’re talking about it.”

Then he asked “But why did they kill her?”

I looked at my husband for help. He said “They didn’t want her to be the leader of their country.”

My son got this look on his face, his eyes narrowed and you could see the contemplation, “But why did they kill her?”

I was confused. What didn’t he get? “She wanted to be the Prime Minister and some people didn’t want her to be, so they killed her.”

Again, he was thinking. Then he said it all “So…. why didn’t they just ….not vote for her?”

That was the moment for me. That was when I decided to pay attention. That was when I decided to get involved. I listened to the debates, I choose carefully and on Super Tuesday, our family of 5 stood in line for about 45 minutes to be counted among the supporters of Barack Obama. It was cold, our three year old only had on a hoodie, we hadn’t been expecting to stand outside at all, but there we were, in line, in the mud in the freezing rain and wind. It would have been easy for us to just go back to the car and say forget it, but Benezir Bhutto wouldn’t let me. A lady I’d never really cared about before was now the inspiration to have my voice heard. I don’t even know what she stood for, but I do know this: She didn’t die in vain.

So, when you get your chance, don’t pass it up. Be heard and participate in this country’s fair and peaceful change in leadership.

Conservative radio talk show hosts have been blasting Michelle Obama for not being “proud enough” of her country, but I’d like to propose that she’s probably more proud than most of us who are carrying her husband to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue.

The generation that embodies the current movement in this country to elect an African American inspirationalist to the White House has mediocre patriotism for a reason. We never had to put our families into boats to cross the Atlantic for religious freedom. We never shot at Red Coats, or fought with Natives. We never had to blaze trails across a vast and unknown land or fight in a civil war. We never suffered from a the starvation of the Dust Bowl, or from the Great Depression. We weren’t saddled with the responsibility of freeing thousands from the repression of Adolph Hitler. We didn’t experience John F. Kennedy, the Cuban Missile Crisis or race the Russians to the Moon. We’ve never greived the loss of a sitting president.

No, we were raised in a time when Americans were individuals. Pride in our country was passed on to us like an heirloom that we cherished, but never really possessed as our own. Americans of our generation never had to band together to defeat anything or overcome any adversity. The generation before us told us the horrors of war, particularly the war that was lost during their early years. We never understood the need for war. Even in both Iraq wars, the country was never consumed by it. We didn’t send all of our men to fight and leave our women to build the artillery. No, even during those wars we just went on with our daily lives, worked in our offices, drank our cocktails and watched reality television.

But now, here we are, at a crossroads with real prospects, because you see, that reality television did give us something. It gave us the knowledge that we have to power to change someone’s fate. Whether it’s voting someone off of American Idol or electing the man of our choice to the White House, we now understand the power of making a choice. And for the first time in our generation, we are not just individuals who can do very little, we are a united people who can again bring out the greatness of our country. Finally, we are proud Americans.

So,yeah, Valentine’s Day is coming and I seriously don’t want to hear one more whiney person talk about “Singles Awareness Day” (ever notice that the acronym is “SAD”?”) Cause I’ve got something to say to you “single” folks out there. And that’s this: Get over it.

I know way too many single gals and fellas that stay single because they are so focused on it. They complain about being single. They rage against Valentine’s Day. Being single becomes their identity. This self pity perpetuates a vicious circle. You’re single, so you’re focused on you, which makes you unappealing, which makes you stay single.

Whatever you do this Thursday, don’t sit at home and have movie night with your single friends talking about how much “Love stinks”. Words are very powerful. Attitudes are too. Don’t keep affirming these mantras, cause they suck the love right out of you.

You see, Valentine’s Day is about LOVE, SO, LOVE somebody. Call your Grandma, babysit for your not-single friends. Buy your nieces and nephews some of those awful pink and red stuffed animals and more chocolate than they can eat in a week. Volunteer at a shelter, or soup kitchen, or political campaign. Do something for someone at church. Get out there and focus on others. When you’re focused on others, you become less self serving and way more attractive.

Take my advice and by this time next year, you’ll be beating off suitors with a stick.

When we moved to our fantastic city of 90,000 people two years ago, I noticed something wonderful. The Wal-mart was your basic clothes, CDs, cleaning supplies, toys and toiletries type of Wal-mart. No groceries, no miles and miles of walking, no 50 check out lanes.

I thought that said something about our fair city. I thought it meant that this university town was conscientious enough to reject the world domination that company seeks. As a matter of fact, I later learned the city was in litigation with Wal-mart over the issues of its impending expansion. But to no avail, the corporate giant is crushing. They suck the life out of small businesses and use their insurmountable wealth to legally defend their right to do so.

While this case was being sorted out and then put on hold, it became a hot topic in the community. So, I did what every responsible well meaning American should do, evaluated my experiences and compiled some research.

I grew up shopping at Wal-mart. No one ever talked about the origins of the products, the low wages the employees were receiving or the insufficient heath care. As a matter of fact, my husband worked for Wal-mart in the auto department for a while. It was during his training that we got an indication that something was amiss.

It started when he was required to watch anti-union videos in his training and to pledge that he would not belong to, start or ask others to start a worker’s union. Things seem even more strange when he was introduced to the Wal-mart “cheer”. It eerily resembled spiritual gathers we’d been to. Where else do you stand with others and sing about how great something is?

Later, when I was a loan processor at a bank in Iowa the rumors (later confirmed when they submitted the necessary paperwork) were that Wal-mart was starting it’s own bank. That’s when I began accusing them of desiring world domination. First it was groceries, then gas, next is banks. Those three things cover just about every consumable product that is not delivered directly to your home, but on that note, they also have Wal-mart internet access and they’ve partnered with Netflix. Will Wal-mart utilities be next?

If you’ve still not grasped the unprecedented magnitude of the Wal-mart corporation, how about this: 5 of the top 10 richest people in the United States are Wal-mart benefactors. Read that again. Over half of the top 10 have income coming from the same source. Not only that, but Wal-mart corporation ranks 18th in charitable giving in this country. If there is enough income to produce half of the top 10 richest people then why do they rank 18th on the list of charitable giving?

That’s not the only unbelievable statistic.

Wal-mart is hoarding billions from desperate people locked into poorer standards of living. They are missing an opportunity and doing it to the tune of billions of dollars in their pocket. Since Wal-mart HAS this kind of buying power, shouldn’t they take the lead in raising wages?

If you’re interested in more information, the movie High Cost of Low Price is very compelling in it’s arguments against Wal-mart. The web site, www.walmartwatch.com is adequate.

Some people like to point out that we live in a free enterprise system and this corporation is just the natural product of our economic system. Others agree with me and feel as though they have no choice or can do nothing about it. Let me state that we can use our free enterprise system against Wal-mart. Your dollar is your vote. Shopping locally is the smartest and easiest way to combat this corporate giant. Supporting your local business is not as costly as the large discount retailers would have you believe. Honestly, would you rather give your money to your neighbor, or to half of the top 10 richest people in the country?

I received two forwards in my “inbox” today. Both were from people I love dearly. Both were completely different and both got a response from me.

FWD: 1

Response to FWD: 1 (please note, this is not my entire response, I first started out by telling this person how much they meant to me and that I was ranting about the poem and not the person who sent it to me)

Whew!! Are you still with me? Cause if you are, here’s your reward:

FWD:2

Response to FWD: 2

Only three more days until we go on our 10 year anniversary trip and I am SO excited!! My mom will be taking care of the kids here and so far I’ve cleaned our house, grocery shopped, worked on all the laundry and even typed up a Grandma Edition of our Childcare Handbook that we have for our sitter.

All I have left is to finish laundry, go buy a few things to wear on the trip and go back over all the cleaning again to freshen up the house. Then it will be time to PACK!!

SO, in celebration of 10 years of making it work, I’ve learned a few things that I’d like to share:

When you’re married and you want to stay that way:

When you’re not married and you want to get that way: